A few months before the controversial movie “Inxeba” came out, a black gay man on twitter decided to share his experience of being sexually harassed at initiation school, he went on to mention that he feared that one of his mates there had been raped, he spoke of staying a month there with the fear of being left alone or sleeping, he spoke of his experience. The reaction to that proved to be a prelude to the root that would later be highlighted by the movie itself. 20+ years in a country that yearly celebrates democracy, black gay men remain not humanized. We experienced and enjoyed the story lines with the black gay man being the funniest in the room (a valid depiction). We enjoyed black gay men exercising their femininity and that translating to the character being funny or sassy, but what we never noticed was the absence of their portrayal beyond that. The limitation of the black gay man’s character on South African TV has been nothing but years of insult and further dehumanizing in a society that enjoys marginalizing anyone who is not Cis-het. A movie delivered the portrayal of black gay men leading ordinary lives and experiencing human difficulties, a young man spoke out of his experience and was shut down before we could even get out of bed to switch on the geyser, let alone actually prepare for the day.
So I write this for the black gay community, to those who’ve not been able to feel because the space doesn’t want them to. To those who continuously fear for their lives so they remain in fight or in work mode, just so they can survive instead of feeling. To those who’ve experienced the pain of being violated and had to bury it. To those whose childhoods are a blur because they never got to live it, so they navigate their adulthood with great confusion and emotional instability. To those who could not identify in moments where they were taken advantage of by predators because love that seeks to see your sexuality as human is something you’ve always been robbed of so you could not know better. To a people not humanized, you are seen, your experiences are valid, you deserve to feel, above all you deserve a chance to live and experience the joys of existing in a “free” country.
The revolution will continue to be a lie because not all are humanized, not all are free, the revolution is Cis-het . I will forever be scarred by the image of the people in this country dressing up in traditional attire to support and celebrate an American Movie in the name of depiction and humanization, and exiting the cinema to stand at it’s front and protest another movie humanizing and depicting black gay men as the humans that they are. A low moment, we have not moved at all.
