Contrary to popular belief and societal norms I am woman enough and there is nothing I need from someone else that I cannot give to myself. Women on a daily basis are defined through stereotypes and are often also defined against a man, most may argue that it is important to do so because we were created distinctly therefore it is important to point out the differences. This post will do the complete opposite and will define the intricacies of being a woman by explaining the true sense of whom we are and what we are made of. Writing about the subject of womanhood hasn’t been easy and I have fallen into the trap of wanting to make this piece a complaint on how every system we find ourselves in is there to break us.
We are powerful, intricate and a diverse group of people and that is what makes womanhood so beautiful. There is no defining our true sense of being without including the saying “Wathinta Abafazi, Wathinta Imbokodo”. Many of us have drawn strength from this saying and it truly depicts what the world has forced us to become. Without our strength there would be far more broken homes, without our nurturing spirit there would be far less empathy. Without our resilience and overall ability to recover quickly from the difficult circumstances we find ourselves in, there would be far less structure in this world and that alone is where the power element comes in. The world consistently breaks our spirit and ensures that we get the short end of the stick, but we rise up because we strive to better understand the different roles we are meant to fulfill to make the world a better place. Being a woman means constantly living in fear, it means self-awareness to ensure we follow our intuition and make decision making easier, which can be a very uncomfortable but necessary journey.
I have stared at may sunsets as a way of seeking the true definition of womanhood without discussing the biology, psychology and every other tool that has been used to try define us. I have laid on many beds of flowers to get all the answers but with all of that I am still finding it very difficult to define the true essence of a woman. All I know is how to be a woman and that should have the job done but I am starting to think that there is no way of truly defining our complex make up and who we were made to be, and I am becoming ok with that. Being a woman means you find yourself in many different roles. You are a sister an aunt, a mother, grandmother, friend and wife. But more importantly people who are smart, hardworking, capable with diverse capabilities, fulfill these roles. It is important to note this because we forget that amazing it to acknowledge that we were created to be multifaceted.
My whole life has been influenced by very strong independent smart women, I have been guided with love, understanding, patience, bravery and honesty and all I can say is I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am not lacking in any way because there was no male involvement in the way I was brought up. The world needs to diminish the idea that one cannot fully become the woman they’ve always wanted to be without male influence. Who better to teach me about menstruation, love and education than the very people who are exactly like me? Who understand my emotions? This is not to take away from the wonderful contribution men make but single woman need more credit for raising us strong independent woman who have made it work regardless of what many studies have said.
Whilst reflecting on what women’s month means to me and going over the significance of the 9thof August which is women’s day in South Africa and is a day that reminds us of the courage and strength of the woman of all races who marched to the union building in 1956 to protest against the Urban Areas Act of 1950. This day has now become a fight against domestic violence, sexual harassment, unequal pay, and schooling for all girls. Understanding this has made me more aware of the inequalities in our society. I took the time to fully understand what it means to be a woman, the intricacies we are faced with and how we constantly are fighting against systems that are in the business of putting us down. We have been oppressed in both body and mind, but have managed to always see the blessing of being chosen to be a woman.
I hope for a world that seeks to understand our complexity, a world that chooses to receive our light and understands a woman’s body, mind and soul. Imagine how powerful it to know when we are pregnant we are blessed with having two souls in one body, this means we should not see any limits within us but maintain the very same energy when facing the discrimination we experience daily. Things get a little complicated very quickly once you realize how society tries to define what your role is and that you are no different from a man – except you will have to work ten times harder than a man, a man who doesn’t suffer monthly menstruation, isn’t harassed on a daily basis about their marital status, does not receive unsolicited comments about weight gain or weight loss, men who are not seen as a liability in a working environment when they’ve chosen to start a family and also receiving judgment for not wanting a family. The point that I am trying to put across is that we are stuck in a cycle that we have learnt to tolerate to ensure our survival.
I will end this subject by saying:
As a woman you are allowed to change your mind.
As a woman you are allowed to be reach your full potential.
As a woman you are allowed to not want a family.
As a woman you are allowed to excel in male dominated industries.
As a woman you are allowed to make mistakes.
As a woman please choose yourself every single day.
As a woman my job is to see my worth in every room I find myself in, to see no limits, to remain soft and live my life unapologetically. The world wants to see us fail. Disappoint it by being everything it says you could never be. Give yourself credit for continuing to overcome. Appreciate the life you have and open yourself up to all your blessings. May we reach a point where we accept that our vaginas are engulfed in scents that are indescribable. May we handle ourselves with care. And, may we are honest with our realities as woman on a daily basis.
